Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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One time i was sitting down

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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