What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

like if your cool

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

u NoT mY dAd HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops