If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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the WNBA

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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