An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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