What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Women's rights.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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hi michael

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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The cream, it is coming

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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