What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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Democracy.

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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