I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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get it right up there, says jacob while with danni

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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