what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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Continents are large islands.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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9/11

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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