Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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