You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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White NBA players.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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how man

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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