A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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