What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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ewrg

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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