Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

thumb_up thumb_down +24

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

http://www.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops