What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

angelo snyder is not ga

Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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