A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Have you heard the tale of the black knight on the black horse? Well, the black knight on the black horse rode up to the castle of the king and was stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her if you can bring me the ruby from the ruby dragon.” So the black knight on the black horse travels for miles and miles over deserts and through woods and up mountains till he finds the ruby dragon and the ruby dragon calls out, “who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want your ruby so I can marry the princess.” So the dragon thinks about it and decides to give the black knight on the black horse the ruby (it was a kind dragon). So the black knight on the black horse rides back to the castle and is once again stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, I’ve brought you the ruby from the ruby dragon and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her if you can bring me the emerald from the emerald dragon.” So the black knight on the black horse travels for miles and miles over deserts and through woods and up mountains till he finds the emerald dragon and the emerald dragon calls out, “who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want your emerald so I can marry the princess.” So the dragon thinks about it and decides to give the black knight on the black horse the emerald (it was a kind dragon). So the black knight on the black horse rides back to the castle and is once again stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, I’ve brought you the ruby from the ruby dragon and the emerald from the emerald dragon and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her if you can bring me the diamond from the diamond dragon.” So the black knight on the black horse travels for miles and miles over deserts and through woods and up mountains till he finds the diamond dragon and the diamond dragon calls out, “who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want your diamond so I can marry the princess.” So the dragon thinks about it and says no. So they fight for three days till the black knight on the black horse slays the diamond dragon and rides back to the castle with the diamond. He is once again stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, I’ve brought you the ruby from the ruby dragon and the emerald from the emerald dragon and the diamond from the diamond dragon and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her, go upstairs and ask her.” So the black knight on the black horse goes upstairs and knocks on the princess’s door and she calls out, “Who goes there?” He replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, will you marry me?” and she said, “No.”

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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