What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Womens basketball

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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