A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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