So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Irish sobriety

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops