Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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