Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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