when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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