Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Where's the soap?

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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