- Anti Joke

Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

A car walks into a bar.

Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

knock knock whos there your mother open the door

what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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