How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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