A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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osama bin laden is dead

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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Where's my tractor?

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Advertiser: Charlies Tax---------- Advertiser: OMG, who are you... Pedobear: Hello kids, come in my taxi(Van) :D

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CFL

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

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Billy wanted a pet...and now he got cancer...

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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Chicken

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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