What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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