Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

I put my baby in a microwave.

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

Hail Hitler

roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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