- Anti Joke

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.