How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Guest what? Dog

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Your mums a potato

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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VITAMIN C!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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