I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

VITAMIN C!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's the difference between a black man from San Diego and a white man from Miami? A: They live in different cities, and in the presidential election, the black man voted for Obama and the white man voted for McCain

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops