A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops