A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops