How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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