A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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