what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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first

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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