There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops