What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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