An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What colour are blackberries? Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is funnier than 24 69

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops