How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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I am a mime

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What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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