Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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