Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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