Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops