There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops