the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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