YOU

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Ain't idn't a word.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops