What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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24

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Pianos.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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