If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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