A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Do you like fishsticks No

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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