Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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Asians.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops