How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

whats worse than having that Holocaust joke be the best anti-joke for months? Windows updates

Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

Balls

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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